Monday, December 28, 2009

Lies

How do you deal with lies? What if all your life is all you know is lies and you repeat them to your self one day after next that in time when someone tells you otherwise there is no way on earth you can actually believe that because it sounds so absurd to even hear that from someone else. And what if you try to change that what happens then? Do we ignore the bad things that happened in the past and try to bury them inside as far down as you can put it. Or is there another answer to the past. What if the past is filled with lies that you repeat over and over again? and what if that if u wanted help from that you had to look for it and reach out and be scared and cry even though it might be against what you were told. I wish that i could say something and no one really gets affended but i know otherwise. This is my space to write and whether people read this or not i really do not care. I didnt create this so that people would read but only so that i could write what is hurting me inside or what i feel in the moment of writing this. This is about truth.I spend to much time worrying whether someone will get mad or angry at me for just writing my inmost thoughts that for so long i tried to bury and that no matter how much i write or anything else they surface up because i havent dealt with them. I always thought counselors are bad but i think they are not so bad if you have the right one.

I will not forget what happened and i know the memories will always be with me no matter where i go.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

More Steps in a Journey

Psalm 141

A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry!
Listen when I cry to you for help!
2 Accept my prayer as incense offered to you,
and my upraised hands as an evening offering.

3 Take control of what I say, O Lord,
and guard my lips.
4 Don’t let me drift toward evil
or take part in acts of wickedness.
Don’t let me share in the delicacies
of those who do wrong.

5 Let the godly strike me!
It will be a kindness!
If they correct me, it is soothing medicine.
Don’t let me refuse it.

But I pray constantly
against the wicked and their deeds.
6 When their leaders are thrown down from a cliff,
the wicked will listen to my words and find them true.
7 Like rocks brought up by a plow,
the bones of the wicked will lie scattered without burial.a]">[a]

8 I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord.
You are my refuge; don’t them kill me.
9 Keep me from the traps they have set for me,
from the snares of those who do wrong.
10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
but let me escape.


Life goes on but with every step we take we learn something new both about God and yourselves.